Just when you think you’ve got your life under control something like kindergarten registration pops up in the middle of the week and knocks you off your block.
I wasn’t quite ready for the decisions that lie before me this year. It all came too quickly.
This past week I realized that my little boy, my second and final child, is heading off to kindergarten this fall. What an emotional jolt, especially for someone like me who has chosen to be a stay-at-home-mom for the past 10 years.
The past decade has been filled with diapers, Sesame Street, sticky fingers, moms’ clubs, and many, many special moments that I might not have had if I had chosen to go back to work full-time.
So here I am, signing the registration paperwork, scrambling to get immunization records and hoping my husband and I are making the right decision about sending our baby boy to kindergarten this year.
It’s more difficult than we thought, on a couple of different levels.
My older son turned 5 at the end of May 2007 and was more than ready to hop on that exciting yellow school bus by early September. My youngest will be 5 this June, but for some reason this situation isn't quite as simple.
You see, my little guy is quirky. He's always been hypersensitive to certain things like bright lights, strong winds, and loud sounds, but it was never something that interfered with his day-to-day activities. We assumed it was just part of who he was.
With kindergarten around the corner, we’ve been advised by his preschool teacher that he might need a little more time before he goes to school, but not for academic reasons.
Perhaps another year would help him with his quirkiness and emotional sensitivities. I’ve considered having him evaluated, only to hear from some that it might be an extreme measure. Do we want him to have a label? Or is this just who he is?
How does one know what’s "normal?"
As a parent, it’s so hard to know what path of action is best for this situation.
In my opinion, he’s a sweet boy with a passion for life. Academically, he’s where he needs to be to begin elementary school. He’s eager to go. He loves being social with his friends and wants to ride the bus with his big brother.
In my mind, he's ready. But then I think of what the "others" are saying...
We’ve considered all-day kindergarten where, perhaps, he’ll get the attention necessary to allow him to prepare emotionally for first grade. Then I take a step back and consider going with the norm and sending him to the typical half-day kindergarten.
“We’ll make him conform,” I think. “It’s all about conditioning.”
But is it?
The emotion of losing my baby to school is enough in itself. But to add these extra stresses of “Is it the right time?” and “Is it the right class?” are about to send me over the edge!
Homeschool, charter school, cyber school, private school, full-day, half-day ... can't we go back to the old days of just sending them off to learn their ABCs and 123s?
My girls were born 13 weeks early so they wouldn't have even come close to making the cut-off if they were born on time (they weren't due until the first week in October). I talked with more than a dozen different (non-preemie) moms in our area about the Kindergarten decision. There were one or two who decided to send their newly-5-year-old kids and it all worked out for them, but there were a bunch who went against their gut, sent their young 5s and REALLY regretted it. Then, there were a vast majority who decided to wait an extra year and not one of the moms I talked to regretted waiting. I also talked with friends who were always the youngest kids in their class growing up and most said they hated it. All of this helped me feel better about our decision to wait. I don't mean to sway anyone, but instead thought it might be helpful to give the background for OUR decision-making process. Good luck in your decision!!
I realize it's an advantage being older, but no matter when the date is, there's ALWAYS going to be someone who's the youngest. How do you prevent that? Plus, it's only middle- to upper- level parents (economically) who decide to hold kids back. (this has been supported by research) Poorer parents always send their kids when they reach 5, no matter what. So the educational gap just gets larger.
My husband was a very young five when he began school and values that he had a year advantage after high school to take some time off before deciding what he wanted to do in college. He feels strongly about the kids having a year off, perhaps to travel or work in a different part of the country, before going into a major in college. Ahhhh! So many decisions!
Just thought of this as well - we assumed she would always be the very youngest, but in her class there are 2 girls only a week older, 1 girl born on the same day, and 1 boy who is a whole month younger! (he already went to kindergarten in CA, where they have a later date, and didn't want to do it twice) That's 20% of her class roughly the same age!
I have a "quirky" son, he was "quirky" from day one and if there is one thing I regret it's not having him evaluated sooner. He is 9 now and in third grade and we are still playing catch up to his needs. He was diagnosed with Aspergers in the summer between first and second grade after MONTHS of seeing a psychologist. Then last summer he was evaluated again by the district and was again diagnosed with Aspergers. The thing is I knew since he was 18 mo. old that there might be something more to his quirks, I even said to a friend that I suspected he had some Asperger traits but I thought/guessed/hoped it wasn't that and with age he'd start to behave a little more "normal". Do I ever kick my self in the ass for that now! Third grade is his first year with an IEP and I am working closely with his teacher and the other staff involved in my sons school life to make the school setting easier for him. It would all be much easier if this was something we've been working on since kindergarten. Since his birthday is in Oct. he missed the cut off date to enter when he was turning 5 and we were forced to wait another year and he STILL had issues with the school environment, so I don't think you'll be avoiding any issues you may have by waiting. We also have days and sometimes a few weeks that go by with him behaving 'typical' but it doesn't mean he is. If you want the opinion from a mom with a "quirky" son, I suggest getting him evaluated and send him to school.