Moms Talk is a weekly feature on all Lehigh Valley Patches in which local parents, caregivers and other members of the community are invited to share opinions and advice on parenting topics.
This week’s Moms Talk question relates to playdate clean-up etiquette.
This week’s Moms Talk question comes to us from one of our Moms Council members who needs help with a recurring problem at her house: a child who comes over to play but never puts away any of the toys before heading home. This seemingly small dilemma is fraught with lots of hidden and not-so-hidden landmines ranging from her own child/children who are angered at having to clean up the mess after the playmate leaves to our disgruntled Moms Council member who is a bit peeved at the other parent for not making her child pick up at least some of the toys.
So, here’s what we want to know:
Do you make your children’s friends clean up before they head home? When your kids are at their friends' houses, do you check to see if there’s any cleanup that needs to be done before you leave? And, how would you handle our Moms Council member’s problem?
Our Moms Council members include:
- Lisa Amey of Upper Milford Township is a stay-at-home mom to an 8-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl. A past president of the MOMS Club of Emmaus and longtime member of MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers), Lisa is an Independent Consultant for Arbonne International.
- Lisa Drew of Emmaus is a certified nutritionist and personal trainer, wellness and fitness coach with more than 17 years of experience. She is the mother of a 13-year-old girl and a 9-year-old boy.
- Jennifer Elston of Emmaus has almost two decades of professional experience in child development and counseling. She is currently a stay-at-home mom to two beautiful girls. Together with her husband, Chris, she owns Christopher Elston Photography.
- Jeanne Lombardo of Nazareth is the mother of a 10-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl. She’s new to the Lehigh Valley, having moved to Nazareth from Bergen County, NJ in January.
- Lisa Merk of Lower Macungie is a stay-at-home mother of four boys – a 12-year-old and 6-year-old triplets. Lisa is a past president of the MOMS Club of Lower Macungie East. In her “spare” time, Lisa teaches piano to school-age children.
- Zoila Bonilla Paul of Bethlehem is a stay-at-home mom to two girls – a 5-year-old and a 14-month-old. Zoila is a member of her local “moms’ club” and says she is “well-versed in the fun that children can bring.”
- Beth Sharpless of Emmaus works part time in a local emergency department as a nurse and part time from home as a customer support specialist. She has two children -- a boy who is almost 2 and a 5-year-old girl. She says they love spending time outdoors and dancing.
If you would like to become a part of the Moms Council and/or have ideas for future Moms Talk questions, please email jennifer.marangos@patch.com.
If you still want to have playdates with the child, but don't want to deal with the issue - meet at park, the pool or some other outside place. I have always made my children at least help clean up when at a friends house, and expect their friends to do the same here
It amazes me, I watch children in public places making gigantic messes, and their parents just sit there and watch them, talking on their phone or to the person next to them or completely ignoring them. If I was at a restaurant and started just pulling napkins out of a holder, my parents would have taken the holder away, and sternly told me that wasn't appropriate. And if me or my brothers carried on, we would have left. That simple. Now I work in two different public service jobs, and at both places I witness parents not even showing one ounce of concern that their children obviously are out of control, and blatantly show no respect for their environment!
"...the French have managed to be involved with their families without becoming obsessive. They assume that even good parents aren't at the constant service of their children, and that there is no need to feel guilty about this..." It's a really good article and worth a read, along the lines of this conversation.