After this past week’s record-breaking temperatures, I became “heated” in more ways than one.
What value is there to having a group of 7- and 8-year-olds play baseball in 98-degree weather when warnings have been issued for poor air quality?
I was disturbed to think the coaches were so set on these kids playing, that their health and safety weren’t a consideration.
“If they drink lots of water, they’ll be fine,” someone said.
Well, my son (who has asthma) just might not be “fine” if he’s pushed to play catcher for two hours in 100 percent humidity at those record-breaking temperatures.
Fortunately after some debate with the other coach, our coach had enough sense to postpone the game -- just to “play it safe.” Bless him for standing up for the safety of his boys.
I’m sorry, but this is not the World Series. Life WILL go on if these little guys miss one game due to an extreme weather situation.
Is it worth it if one of them has a severe asthma attack or falls over from heat exhaustion? Not in my opinion. But maybe that’s the tender heart of a mom talking. Isn’t this all fun and games at this point? Perhaps not to some parents.
I don’t know if I’m right or wrong, but it got me a little fired up this week. The situation led me to thinking about organized activities in general.
So many kids these days are scheduled into one thing or another, even as toddlers. I’ve known parents who sign up their 18-month-olds for gymnastics, soccer, swimming and other costly lessons.
Not only do I not have the money for this, I have a hard time understanding what it’s worth at such a young age.
I’m not sure what has driven our society to feel we have to get our kids involved in these structured activities when they're only 1-, 2- or 3-years-old. I’ve seen kids as young as several months old going for swimming lessons or 2- year-olds on the tennis courts.
Perhaps it’s the fact that so many people live in suburban developments offering little to no open space for kids to play freely. Maybe people are afraid we’re falling behind other countries. Or maybe it’s just a standard of “keeping up with the Joneses.”
Whatever it is, my husband and I are happy to say we’ve stuck with our gut on this.
We waited until our oldest son asked us to get involved in something. When he turned 6, he expressed an interest in joining scouts. He loves the outdoors, learned about cub scouts, and knew he wanted to give it a try.
It was HIS choice.
We never did T-ball, but allowed him to play baseball when he wanted to. He might have been the only kid on his team who had never played T-ball, but guess what … he’s not so bad.
Piano lessons were just recently introduced after he turned 8 – an age, we were told, when children can quickly and effectively learn the techniques.
For as long as we could hold off, he was allowed to be a kid with no hardcore schedule – a rarity these days. We’re just now getting into this concept of having a “kid schedule.”
Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to sound judgmental by any means. If you're the parent of a 2-year-old who attends "The Little Gym," I'm sure you and your child enjoy it very much.
I’m just wondering why some of us feel so much pressure to go with the flow and pump our kids full of scheduled activities when they’re so young.
When I was a young girl, I lived in a rural area outside of Emmaus.
For fun, I would play in the creek across the road, build forts in the woods, ride my bike to the corner store, and have friends over to play “orphans,” where we’d pretend we were living off the land and make ourselves onion grass soup. We played board games, tried to perform magic tricks and caught unusual creatures in the nearby pond.
At some point, a letter was sent from the local township offering a summer kickball program. I was about 8 years old, and it seemed like a fun thing to do. I still remember the red t-shirt I was given.
It was the beginning of my “kid schedule,” and I was ready. Piano, softball, and track and field soon followed.
Life as a kid was good. I was free to use my imagination, I had time to play with friends, and I was able to be creative in my own ways. I think I turned out OK.
I often wonder when things changed.
I don’t remember having friends who went to soccer lessons. They kicked the ball around with their siblings or friends. There were no Sunday games. Instead, we went to church and spent time with our families.
I knew no one who had tennis on Tuesday, soccer on Wednesday, and gymnastics on Thursday with swimming lessons somewhere in between.
So, certainly times have changed. To each his or her own, but are we getting to the point that parents are afraid to let kids be kids?
Karma strydesky
4:56 pm on Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Thank you Jenae...!
I completely agree I was once a parent who felt the pressure of getting my young girls involved in organized activities... I can honestly say it was to a point I was forcing them to go tears and all... My daughters love to play outside with their friends go to the library or take a nature walk...or organized by them.
Chris DeFrain
7:48 pm on Tuesday, June 14, 2011
A lot of things have changed over the years. When we were kids we could hang out at Lincoln School's playground all day until it was dark and our parents didn't have to worry a whole lot about it. There were so many kids there, the Lincoln School neighbors and even the Janitors watched out for us and the times were a lot different. Now even with a cell phone you feel uneasy about letting your child play too long outside of the house since you know there will be very few kids at the playground. I also think some parents feel the need to let their children compete because quite honestly the Elementary Schools no longer allow that. There is nothing wrong with a child learning that sometimes there are winners and sometimes people who come in second or third. No kid needs to lose all the time but learning to accept and learn from "losing" can go a long way.
At the end of the day I agree with you that the kids should play or join groups when they want to and not when their parents want them to. However, I can see why some parents feel more comfortable allowing their children to do those types of things in a more structured environment. They feel their kid is safer and it allows them a little bit of the competitiveness they will need later in life when they search for a job.
Tara Zrinski
3:35 am on Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I think organized sports are a great thing for young children to learn how to socialize and gain the fundamentals of the sports. The drawback is when everything becomes so much about winning that not everyone gets to play or parents get out of control. I loved coaching my son's soccer team when he was 5. We had great fun and it wasn't the world cup...it was fun. Winning and losing is all part of the game but, the demands on kids to maintain rigorous practice schedules and game day rituals is out of hand.
I missed the days when organized sports meant pick up games in the street or at the park, where kids negotiated the rules for and between themselves.
Katie Gangewere
7:48 am on Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I am with you 100%!!!!! When my children were younger I will admit I did try to force some organized sports with with. My son...HATED IT! We trying Boy Scouts, football, guitar lessons and baseball. Football lasted maybe one day and Boy Scouts maybe 2 months. Baseball did stick for a few years but when it really started to become competitive he just wasn't into it. I would of course pressure him and say "Well then what activity are you going to participate in?" and he used to say :let me be" and on his own he chose skateboarding. I know some might say this is not an organized sport however there are more activities tied to this than one would think. He is now 17 and travels the east coast participating in contests or demos. What a world he has created for himself and I couldn't be more proud. I think your chose to allow them to tell you that they are ready to try something is AWESOME! I do wish I didn't spend years fighting with my children to participate in things that they had no interest in. YOU GO MOM!
Commoncents
8:19 am on Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Well, there's a balance. If you wait for kids to ask for everything, they may never be introduced to activities or become competent. My kids didn't "ask" to learn how to swim or join a summer swim team, but it was one of the best things I ever made them do; they don't have to be embarrassed at a pool, the beach, or swim parties, have instant friends all summer long, and it's great and fun exercise.
By all means, if they are miserable, read your kid and know how when to pull the plug. I pulled mine out of Lehigh U's summer soccer, even though they loved it, because, as in your story, they were playing in blazing heat, no shade, for hours. Many kids "hate" piano, but maybe it's just that instrument, not music in general. I think it's a parent's job to guide, introduce and encourage.
On the third hand, many middle schoolers "hate" their activities and so many quit, leading to doing nothing, much less excelling, in their high school or even adult lives. And there's nothing like the real "self-esteem" (not talking about gold stars for showing up) of mastering a sport or activity.
By the way, my kids "lost" plenty, in academics, gym, etc., in the East Penn elementary days. Most of the teachers are parents too and they "get it".
Sue Edwards
10:41 am on Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Versatility, tolerance, diversity, endurance, self respect, sufferance, fortitude, resilience, stamina, patience, and persistence. All things learned in life through many different avenues. No one way correct or wrong. I sit in my kitchen quietly reading after the kids are off to school and am appalled at the righteousness in your articles and posts. You may have a following of supporters that are open to your one sided views and opinions. I find myself more often than not disagreeing with the way you model your family as pretentiously as you do. Enough already.
Beth
9:31 am on Sunday, June 19, 2011
That's the beauty of an "opinion" piece. You can take it our leave it.
Amanda
1:49 am on Sunday, June 19, 2011
Self righteous and pretentious? To me, you sound more like a proud mother using her kids as an example. If a reader has an issue with your article(s), perhaps they should get out of their "quiet kitchen" and pick up a job as an editor. To this reader, this article is not at all degrading (unless you're maybe a little insecure). That being said, I am a mother of very active children. My son began Soccer at age 3, and he tore up that field. He's very competitive, so he enjoyed sports and begged to be enrolled every year since. He is now 10 and would rather have his arm cut off than skip a year of football, wrestling, or basketball. To add some variety, I chose not to enroll him in a spring sport and instead let him take piano lessons. I want him to be exposed to anything he could acquire a passion for. This fall, he will be back in full pads! My daughter asked for soccer, after watching him, so when she was 3, we enrolled her. Turns out, she prefers ballet. I was NEVER in an organized sport, but wish my parents had encouraged me more. By the time I reached high school and took the initiative to go out for a team, the kids all knew each other and were far more advanced than I was, therefore, I didn't make the team. Bonds of friendship and "cliques" begin early, sad but true. I think it's a wonderful opportunity when they are older promoting good grades, and scholarship opportunities, not to mention substance testing. I'm a voice on the opposing side, but I'm doing so with taste.